Un-Relationships in 2020s for late 20s.

Everyone is doing great in their professional life. All of us are doing pretty decent in our career. We have a great social circle too, we meet for brunches and dinners, watch movies, have chai, do shots, go to clubbing together… like mostly everything and anything under the sun. We enjoy our life at work and outside work. But once we reach home after work/ party, we enter our nicely arranged room and look for a person. Someone in whose arms we can get wrapped into. Someone to talk about his/her day and share about our day. Laugh on silly jokes and laugh louder when either of us snort. Someone with whom you can share that last Chamomile tea of the day. Someone who promise to sing lullaby to you before you sleep on alternate nights, and the other alternates you sing to them. Someone you wish the last Goodnight of the night and first Goodmorning of the day. Someone for whom you make coffee (if he likes coffee), while he makes you honey-lemon-ginger-in-warm-water (because you like honey-lemon-ginger). Someone you can kiss and say good-day before both leaves for work. At work, we work or may be sometime send funny live moments of this Earth. After work, we socialize as per we feel like and then come back to home, a home which is a person, not a room. We all want that, don’t we? Then where does the problem lies? If it’s that simple, why are we still sitting in our room alone?

I think I know the answer too. Based on my experiences and some close friends’ experience, I can confirm most people from my generation are suffering from trust or/and commitment issues. Our hearts were broken, and we were shattered. We were shattered, and while collecting the pieces of our heart, we kept that smiling face on. When we tried to express that we are broken, we were judged too quickly and were given names. Then we entered this cocoon from where we want to come out but not sure for whom. We are afraid… afraid to be broken twice in a row… for some people, thrice in a row because we showed the courage by leaving the cocoon the first time, but looks like we were fooled twice. Hence, major trust issues.

Let’s come to commitment issues, which also exist in quite a number, in some form or the other. We all want to be committed to a person and wants the other person to be committed to us, but the definition of “commitment” is different for everyone. One wants just the loyalty, the other wants physical presence with it too. One wants freedom, the other wants no-space. One wants three kinds of life – professional, social and personal, while the other understand only two – professional and personal. One wants to communicate when something bothers, the other wants to keep it in the heart.
I believe all these definitions are right for a particular kind of situation, but the moment we choose the wrong definition for a situation, we get hurt or hurt the other person. All previous moments of pain and hurt, plays like a sad movie in front of us and from inside we are falling on our knees and it’s getting too hard to breath. Still we look straight into the other person’s eyes because you don’t want to look weak. We hide our pain, and eventually distances increase… distance not only between two people but also between our own heart and mind.

In the world of broken hearts and confused minds, we are constantly searching for the one whose heart fits well with our heart and complete the puzzle, but our mind is too scared to show or acknowledge our broken pieces to see what the puzzle looks like.